Category Archives: Laughing is the best medicine
Ha ha – another joke
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Survey
Posted on June 23, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineA worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: “Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?” The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn’t know what “food” meant. In Eastern Europe they didn’t know what “honest” meant. […]
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Secret Police
Posted on June 16, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineA frightened man goes to the secret police and says, “My talking parrot disappeared.” “Why did you come here? Go to the regular police.” “I will. I’m just here to tell you that I disagree with whatever that parrot is going to say.”
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GOING TO THE DOGS
Posted on June 9, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineWhen our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain […]
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A few coffee jokes
Posted on June 2, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineThe Law of Coffee If you sit down to enjoy a hot cup of coffee, then your boss will ask you to do something that will last until the coffee is cold. Coffee Snob Barista: How do you take your coffee? Me: Very, very seriously. Coffee Timeout Q: How are coffee beans like […]
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GOING TO THE DOCTOR
Posted on May 26, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineMy husband went to the cardiologist after experiencing symptoms of a heart attack. “I had taken our cat to the vet,” he told the nurse, “and while I was there, my chest got tight, and I had trouble breathing. Later, my left arm began aching.” The nurse was clearly concerned. “So,” she asked, “how was […]
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NO CAUSE FOR ALARM
Posted on May 19, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineAfter my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. He replied, “Only if she starts hanging out at hardware store and buys a lot of power tools.”
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He can do it himself
Posted on May 12, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineIt was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him onto the bed. But I couldn’t clear the top of the mattress. So […]
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A few Waiter Jokes
Posted on May 5, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineMan in a Restaurant: ‘Waiter, there’s a dead fly in my soup!’ Waiter: ‘Yes, sir, it’s the hot water that kills them.’ ‘Waiter, waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!’ ‘Don’t worry, sir, the spider in the salad will get it.’ WAITER: ‘How did you find your steak, sir?’ DINER: ‘Quite by accident. […]
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Hunting accident
Posted on April 28, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineTwo hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s […]
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A Second Opinion
Posted on April 21, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicineLenny tells the psychiatrist, “Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it.” “Come to me three times a week for two years, and I’ll cure your fears,” says the shrink. “And I’ll charge you only $200 a visit.” Lenny says he’ll think about it. Six months later, he runs into the […]
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