Tag Archives: Joke

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  A Second Opinion

  Posted on April 21, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  Lenny tells the psychiatrist, “Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it.” “Come to me three times a week for two years, and I’ll cure your fears,” says the shrink. “And I’ll charge you only $200 a visit.” Lenny says he’ll think about it. Six months later, he runs into the […]

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  Quitting Time

  Posted on April 14, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. He was rushed to a hospital and peppered with questions. “Do you smoke?” asked a paramedic. “No,” John whispered. “I quit.” “That”s good. When did you quit?” “Around 9:30 this morning.”

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  You are just fine

  Posted on February 17, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  Our doctor’s office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. That didn’t suit my husband. “What’s my cholesterol level?” he asked. “Mr. Crocker, you are just fine,” insisted the nurse. “Still, I’d like you to mail me the results.” A few days […]

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  Pregnancy Exam

  Posted on February 10, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  A man and his wife visited their doctor in the first trimester of their pregnancy. After the examination the doctor took out an ink stamp and printed something on the woman’s belly. What is this they asked it was too small to read. The doctor handed them a magnifine glass and said have a look […]

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  Lazy

  Posted on February 3, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said: “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.” “Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.” […]

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  The good news and the bad news

  Posted on January 20, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  1. Jerry is in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”     2. Patient: Doctor, you told me I have a month to live […]

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  What’s the matter?

  Posted on January 27, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?” He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation; don’t worry. I’m sure it will be all right.” “She was just trying to comfort […]

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  Hiccups

  Posted on January 13, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  A woman went to her doctor’s office with a seemingly incurable case of hiccups. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. […]

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  Flatulence

  Posted on January 6, 2021 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  An old lady goes to the doctor. She mentions that no matter what when she farts, they are always silent and don’t smell. To illustrate her point, she lets one go. Old lady: See, Doctor, it was silent, and I don’t smell anything. Doctor: I see, I am going to give you a prescription, then […]

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  Funny Bones

  Posted on December 24, 2020 by Ela Gold in Laughing is the best medicine

  A man returned to the U.S. after a trip abroad feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This […]

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