Maternity phone call
A man speaks enthusiastically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” the doctor Asks.
“No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!”
A man goes to the doctor with a flatulence problem. The doctor asks, “How often?” and the man replies 10 to 15 times an hour. The doctor goes back to his office and returns with a pole with an iron hook. The man screams, “What are you going to do with that, Doc?” The doctor replies, “I’m going to open some windows.”